


Emotional Differnces of Acceptance

by KJ99



Category: One Day at a Time (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, Love, thoughtful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 17:50:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20710100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KJ99/pseuds/KJ99
Summary: Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with One Day At A Time.This one-shot is me just getting some of my thoughts out of my head and putting them into a story, using characters instead of naming names. So, it's a nothing really one-shot, just me using it as a medium to try and get somewhere. I don't if it will work. Anyway, I hope you decide to give it a read. ~KJ99





	Emotional Differnces of Acceptance

Emotional Differences of Acceptance

Anger, sadness and love are funny little things, all rolled up into one little ball of confusing emotions. I had never known it was possible to feel all three at one time. Up until recently I thought you could only feel one emotion at a time, that they gave way to each other. But I guess that's a kids answer, someone who hasn't faced the toils and troubles that life can bring. 

I spend my days often questioning, how could he do this to me? Why would he? I know, it's not an easy thing for people to understand but at the end of the day, after everything he has seen. Surely, my being gay isn't really a bad thing. How can he accuse me of being selfish, when all I'm trying to do is be honest. Maybe I didn't go about it in the right sense, but these things aren't easy. Why do I even have to come out? When millions of people are just the default? Why was straight the default? 

I just don't understand emotions sometimes. But the one I struggle most with is love, mixed in with hate. How can I feel so much hatred towards this one person but yet still kind of love them. I guess when you are raised in a loving and forgiving family, it's hard to not just accept the other persons apology or apology yourself and move on. That's another thing, why do I have to apology when I did nothing wrong? Maybe that's self-centre of me to think I did nothing wrong. But honestly, all I did was become my true self. I came out as gay, so what? It truly isn't the biggest deal. Stupid homophobia, I think.

"Hey Elena," I heard a voice call out breaking me from my thoughts. Looking back over my shoulder, I see Syd standing leaning out of my window sill.

"Hey," I say giving them a small smile. Even in my deepest and darkest thoughts, they couldn't not make me smile even if they tried.

I asked "Did we have plans?" I don't remember making plans but my minds been pretty wrapped up in thoughts of him.

"No, but your Mum called. She thought you might need a shoulder, and well I have two very good and strong shoulders for the taking." I smiled even bigger, they always say the sweetest things to me and I didn't know how that was possible.

Syd then offered "Now which shoulder would you like left or right?" I tipped my head back in laughter, how did I get so lucky to not only have this beautiful person in my life but also want to be my sydnifigant other.

"Right," I say making them smile. Turning back to face the nightful, street filled city in front of me. I listen closely as they pull themselves up out on the fire escape and it wasn't long before they were sitting down next to me.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Yes and no. I just don't understand how I can be filled with so much hatred for this one person but yet still love them."

"He is your dad, Elena. I think deep down you are going to always love him."

"I know, it just sucks," I sigh laying my head down on their shoulder. Taking extra comfort in their arms. As we sat there staring out at the city before us, we didn't need to talk. They knew what I was thinking and feeling, they knew I just need time to process and when I was ready, we would talk some more. Sitting there I couldn't help but feel this small part of me dying, even if he did eventually accept me there was always going to be this part that would never recover. 

I mean honestly, how could it? Nothing was ever going to be the same, things were said and they can't just be forgiven and forgotten. As Syd placed a small peck on the side of my forehead, I could feel my heart swelling with love for them. At least I had them in my corner, now and what I hope is forever. While things in this moment feel incomplete, confusing and hurtful it was just this crazy thing called. This was just part of being alive, feeling the pain that this world we can inflict on one another. I just had to ride it out, hope for the best and hold onto the ones I truly loved.

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, cheers for giving this a read. I hope it wasn't too time wasting. Hope you have a nice day/night! ~KJ99


End file.
